April 30, 2026 · Multiple articles, ongoing
We have referred to AGI as being '5 years away.' AGI is, of course, '5 years away.' We regret nothing.
Accountability (Satirical)
Corrections & Clarifications
This page is part of the joke. These "corrections" are satire, like everything else here. They don't correct anything real, because nothing we publish is real news.
April 29, 2026 · VC Firm Announces $2 Billion AI Fund
An earlier version of this story stated the fund had raised $2 billion. The fund has, in fact, announced that it is raising $2 billion, which is a different and considerably more aspirational thing. We regret the confusion.
April 26, 2026 · AI Researcher Profile
We described Dr. Priya Scalability as having 'a PhD in machine learning from MIT.' We have since learned that Dr. Scalability completed her PhD at MIT, attended MIT, and graduated from MIT, but is at no point currently 'at MIT.' We have edited the article to say she has 'PhD energy' instead.
April 22, 2026 · Startup Coverage
We described the company as 'pre-revenue.' The correct term is 'pre-revenue, pre-product, pre-team, pre-market, and pre-idea, but very post-deck.' We regret the brevity.
April 18, 2026 · Benchmark Reporting
Our coverage of the new model included the phrase 'state of the art,' a phrase which has been state of the art since approximately 1962 and is generally considered legally meaningless. We have replaced it with the more accurate phrase 'extremely large.'
April 12, 2026 · Conference Coverage
An earlier version of this story incorrectly identified the keynote speaker as a senior researcher. He is in fact a senior researcher's husband, who wandered onstage during a coffee break and was handed a microphone. His remarks were nevertheless very well received and have been cited in two preprints.
April 5, 2026 · Prompt Engineering Salaries
We reported that prompt engineers earn 'up to $400,000 per year.' We have since learned that the figure 'up to $400,000' was generated by ChatGPT when asked what prompt engineers should earn. We regret the recursion.
March 28, 2026 · AI Safety Coverage
Our piece described an AI lab as 'committed to safety.' We have since clarified that they are committed to having a Director of Safety, a person whose primary duty is to be quoted saying the lab is committed to safety. The lab itself is committed to shipping.